I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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