I got chris browned last night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize