I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
