Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
