Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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