Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
