you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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