Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just had sex bonerless
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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