someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
