I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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