I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
