Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
