I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
