he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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