people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
