and next time when you feel me up, do it right
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
