Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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