You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize