If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We don't watch enough power rangers
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
