You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
