you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
