I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
