drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Banned from zoo.
Again?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
