This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
