I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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