I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
