Im at strip club and am horny
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
