do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
