You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
