THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
