if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
