I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
4 words: hood of his car
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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