Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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