Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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