To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
