so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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