i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He did a backflip because drugs
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