I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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