Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
