also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
