Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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