bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
