My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.