I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This toilet bowl is my home.
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