It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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