In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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