I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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