I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize