To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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