He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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