Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
