If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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