shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
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she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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