i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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