Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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