ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize