i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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