Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
