well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize