why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
