when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
