Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
