I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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